The route of the Tour de France appears to have hit the airwaves formally immediately and there’s a LOT to cowl. Since issues are transferring quickly, I’ll toss out what for me stand out because the highlights

Stage 1: Wait, we’re in Italy? For the TOUR?!

I’ve lengthy surmised, based mostly on nothing greater than an inventory of outdated Tour routes, that they wished nothing to do with Italian something if they may assist it. Perhaps it was a petty rivalry with the Giro d’Italia, or not a lot petty as merely sensible — the world doesn’t want a French Giro when it already has a (normally spectacular) Italian one? That’s the beneficiant studying. The likelier state of affairs is that Henri Desgranges is rolling over in his grave. Anyway, now we’ll know what it’s like for Canadian followers to observe hockey video games performed in Arizona.

[Side note: Rimini? Is the Tour currying favor with its temporary hosts by doing a Pantani tribute stage? Was this negotiated into the deal for the Grand Départ? Sigh…]

Stage 2: It’s the Giro dell’Emilia Tribute Stage!!!

There’s an outdated Simpson’s bit the place Homer responds to one among his children feeling ignored by society with “I’m between the ages of 18 and 45, everybody listens to me!” and he pulls out a product known as “nuts and gum: collectively ultimately!” That is just about how I really feel proper now. The Giro dell’Emilia and the Tour de France. Collectively ultimately.

Stage 4: It’s the 1949 Giro Tribute Stage!!!

OK, now they’re simply trolling me. The stage begins in Pinerolo, ending level of the well-known stage 17 of the 1949 Giro the place Coppi went on his solo experience for the ages, and reverses that course over Sestriere and Montgenèvre, earlier than breaking off for a “fuck it, we’re simply using the Galibier” monster stage, earlier than the riders have had time to get used to being again on French soil. I suppose they may have caught with the bit longer and performed the Izoard and Vars climbs (Vars reveals up in week 3), however you gained’t hear me complaining. I can be too busy yelling at everybody to purchase Dino Buzzati’s books.

Stage 9: Gravel Is Every little thing Now

In the event you weren’t positive that this was the least conventional Tour ever, nicely… we’ll get to that extra in a bit. However that is one other brick in that wall.

And it’s all types of good. The riders appear to find it irresistible, and are fairly used to bits of off-roading by now anyway. It’s stage 9, early sufficient to not seal the race however late sufficient for the opening nerves and crashiness to have worn off. It would have a 99.9% approval score, a stage even Roger De Vlaeminck can’t complain about. And the bike business can be positively giddy nicely previous the following relaxation day.

A number of Phases: They’re Going The place?!?

Sorry if this isn’t an awesome map, however… the place are these locations? What are these climbs?

This Tour has most likely fewer outdated requirements than any I can bear in mind. Properly, the Pyrénéen levels are fairly recognizable, however after that, actually solely the Galibier stands out. Le Lioran? Superdévoluy? Isola 2000? Col de Couillole? Even a number of the repeats are nonetheless uncommon, just like the Cime de la Bonette.

That is all excellent news to me. I’m not going to geek out on target profiles; I’ve spent sufficient years getting too enthusiastic about “have a look at that line on my laptop! It’s actually going up!!” to simply do that out of context. What strikes me although is that the riders gained’t know lots of these roads and must cope with going off any type of script. That alone ought to make for unbelievable racing.

Stage 21 AREYOUFUCKINGKIDDINGME!!!

Sorry however I simply can’t react to this being the ultimate stage with out lapsing into profanity. In a great way.

I get that they’re skipping Paris for the primary time ever — the final word break with custom in all the sport of biking. It’s in regards to the Olympics. Or about Parisians getting one Sunday again from the site visitors insanity related to internet hosting sporting occasions, earlier than the shit actually hits the fan. [Presumably all of Paris will have escaped by then, and in fact the lack of a Tour finishing stage gives them an excuse to leave even sooner.]

However it will most likely be the only most vital stage of the Tour, given how tight even the most important mountain levels are typically raced today (lo, the Roglification!). It’s the longest of the 2 TTs by 10km, and it features a good bit of climbing, to the purpose the place it’d pressure everybody again onto their common street bike, or one thing near it.

It doesn’t should be shades of 1989 per se, it’s not like we haven’t had a great deal of decisive cronos on the eve of Paris. But when the most important issues popping out of 2023 had been that Jumbo had been too dominant and the race was over a bit early, all of those wrinkles, the stability of abilities together with off-road ones, capped off with a ultimate day mountain ITT, ought to clear up these “issues” in a dramatic means.

Total Ranking: A++

I prefer to assume I’m hard-headed in assessing the Tour course, not less than in contrast to some different races the place I lack all objectivity. So I suppose that is my means of claiming, strategy to get artistic, ASO! Finally the riders will resolve the race and thrilling racing doesn’t at all times observe thrilling course design, however this can be an extremely refreshing expertise if there’s any type of a GC battle occurring in any respect. I completely find it irresistible.

What say ye?