***It’s the week between Christmas and New 12 months’s Day. I’m not formally running a blog and this isn’t a publish. That is simply us hanging round and speaking.***

There’s a “Seinfeld” episode during which Kramer sells his life story to Jay Peterman, however he runs out of anecdotes, and so his tales develop into more and more mundane:

As a semi-professional bike blogger I’ve clearly reached the identical pathetic state, as a result of not solely am I additionally itemizing issues in my condominium by analyzing all my bike holdings, however I’m quoting “Seinfeld” within the course of, which signifies that on the literary hierarchy my prose now ranks someplace between “Reddit thread” and “What’s App group chat.” Nonetheless, you’ll word within the above disclaimer that this isn’t technically a publish, so I gained’t have formally hit all-time low till I resume posting after New 12 months’s:

Additionally, as tedious as all this can be for you, it’s extremely useful for me, since that is the primary time I’ve carried out a significant stock of all my bikes as a substitute of ratholing them all through my dwelling like an inmate hoarding smokes. And simply yesterday I cleared out a bunch of elements and equipment, principally comprised of previous tires and issues I’ve promised myself I’ll repair however by no means will. This represents progress, and I credit score the previous few days of non-blogging for introducing some much-needed fiber in my backed-up bicycle digestive system.

Anyway, a few of you will have talked about different bikes I haven’t addressed. A kind of contains my spouse’s Clem Smith, Jr., which I haven’t talked about as a result of, nicely, it’s not mine:

It’s her bike, she loves it, it’s unbelievable, and it’s not going anyplace.

Others of you will have talked about the Brompton, proven right here wanting like a freshly-smacked canine:

Nicely, for the Bromptonauts on the market I’m sorry to report I’m not considered one of you. The Brompton was a revelation when it comes to sheer practicality and I used it fairly a bit. Nonetheless, circumstances modified, and I used to be not utilizing it sufficient to justify retaining it, and so awhile again I discovered it a brand new dwelling. This under no circumstances diminishes my respect for Bromptons or the individuals who journey them, even when they do look somewhat bit like circus bears. Additionally, don’t inform Brompton, as a result of they might be dissatisfied, and even indignant, although it’s much more seemingly they not keep in mind who I’m.

Additionally not amongst our holdings are these his-and-hers WorkCycles:

Just like the Brompton, each have been marvelously sensible, and each noticed heaps and plenty of use. However as soon as the children have been sufficiently big to journey round on their very own bikes we handed them alongside to individuals with youthful youngsters of their very own. As for driving round in consolation and carrying stuff and taking little household jaunts across the neighborhood or no matter, the Platypus and the Clem now fulfill these duties whist additionally being higher suited to driving longer distances and far simpler to herald and out of the constructing or load onto the automotive for household outings and that form of factor.

It’s been years since I handed the Surly Large Dummy alongside although I figured I’d as nicely point out it. This bike noticed me by way of my elder son’s earliest years and was my first cargo bike. Sadly the problem of a motorbike like this in a metropolis is that it’s received an uncovered drivetrain so you possibly can’t actually depart it outdoors day in and day trip, nevertheless it’s additionally a long-ass bike and subsequently tough to retailer inside. So the WorkCycles that succeeded it was simpler to dwell with in that regard. However when you have the room for a longtail like this it’s an incredible bike as a result of it’s not solely extraordinarily helpful but in addition numerous enjoyable to journey. Chatter on the Internets appears to point that Surly are discontinuing the Large Dummy, which is a disgrace. I assume it’s a casualty of the transfer to e-bikes.

Talking of Surly, somebody talked about my coupled journey bike. I received that immediately from Surly once I was touring so much for ebook excursions, however as soon as these wound down I didn’t use it almost as a lot. Additionally, it was a tad small, since that’s the one measurement Surly had left on the time. I final used it as a singlespeed on the Rainey Park Cyclocross race in Queens:

After that I used to be returning a motorbike case to Paul at Basic Cycle, and slightly than despatched it again empty I put the Surly in it. I by no means acquired a thanks word, which is shocking, as a result of if there’s one factor bike retailers adore it’s extra bike litter.

However whereas I not have the coupled Surly, I do nonetheless have the Ironic Orange Julius Bike–or not less than the body. It has lived many various lives, from the commuter you see above, to the singlespeed cyclocross bike you see beneath:

And that you just want you would unsee:

Now it’s only a body and fork:

Plus a rusty Excalibur of a backside bracket awaiting a courageous knight to extricate it:

Absolutely it’s the ironic tracklocross bike of somebody’s goals.

Additionally diminished to border and fork was my On-One Inbred, although I did lately transfer that alongside to a brand new proprietor:

For years I rode it as a singlespeed, and I most likely ought to have used that as the idea for a budget 29er singlespeed I discussed yesterday, however on the time I used to be constructing it again up for my elder son and it felt actually bizarre to place him on a motorbike known as “Inbred.”

So there you go, I can eliminate issues once I put my thoughts to it.